17 years of spending Valentine's day alone, meaning single. :)

I have a lot of guy friends you know. I am used to guys around me because I have three brothers and I am the only girl. But I often am the friend who they talk about the girls they like, the bridge, the girl they tell stories to about how pretty the girl they like is, about how pretty she looked that day, about how their encounter with the girl, and so on.

I am always the friend. And it's okay with me. I just wish.. someone would talk about me that way too. I wish someday, someone will come, and talk about the girl they like/love. I wish that girl would be finally me.

Someone, I know, will come along. I just have to wait... wait more.

What if love won't find me? Should I look for it? I know, people tell me not to look for love. I know, I should not because it will find it's way to me. But what if, love won't find me? What if I kept waiting and there is nothing there to wait for? What if I kept waiting and no one will be there for me?

Love should find me. I know it will. It needs to find me. No, I know it will. It should. It would.

In time, it will.

I so blame love stories and koreanovelas for making me such a hopeless romantic.

And, you know what, the world often runs around like this. When you like a person, he doesn't like you. When someone likes you, you don't like him or you just consider him as a friend. It sucks, doesn't it?

And everyone I like is already taken or likes someone else. That's so great. I can't bear heartaches this time. My heart's so aching right now for reason I do not know why it is the reason. It's so shallow. I dunnoooooo.

STOP RIGHT NOW, okay, Chaaa? Stop! Pak. And besides, you know you just consider him as a friend. You just like him because he's super duper uber nice. And he's smart. Responsible. Not so bad-looking. Super friendly. And oh, did I mention, he's smart? Yeah. Guys like that are guys that are near to extinction. You rarely find a person like that. You rarely find a person that makes you go "aww.." in real life. Because you have never found one yet. You have never found a REAL one yet. The one you found before was all a lie, fake. So you're scared.

I am scared. But I am now willing, you know.

I shouldn't worry about this. What about my 'no time for love' New Year's Resolution? Gah, maybe it's just the bad week I had. :(

I am so sad. Heavy heart, man. Don't know why.

I shouldn't be like thissssssssssssssss. FUCK.